Inspired...

Last night I went to the River, which is a college ministry led by some of our closest friends here in Spearfish. I absolutely love the River!!!! Anyways...I was very inspired and convicted by last night's message and thought I could share some of those thoughts...we will see how much I remember ;)

"The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray" - Proverbs 12:26...I have been thinking a lot lately about friendships...whether they are mine present friendships or past or people who have bad friends. Isn't amazing how much our life is influenced but those who sourround us?! When I was in high school I had two groups of friends...those who went to Youth Group with me and those who didn't know God at all. I was close to both of them but just in different aspects of my life. My friends from church were my spiritual support at that time and they had no clue what I was doing outside of church. So really they just knew one side of me. My other friends asked a lot of questions about my faith, and I not only talked about it but also acted most of the time like a Christian would. That is why I have never thought it was wrong for me to hang out with my non-Christian friends all the time. The problem was that they weren't building me up spiritually...if anything they were bringing me down. To them it didn't matter if they went and got drunk every weekend or if their every other word was a swear word or if the girls were dressing up "slutty" to get the guys attention. So in my head I thought I was doing the right thing by hanging out with them because I still ocassionally talked about God, yet my actions didn't relfect Him at all!!! What I'm trying to say is that those friends were leading my astray! What kind of a Christian am I if I participate in their partying and to some degree encourage them?!What kind of a friend am I if I let them go this sinful path straight to Hell???!!! That is not what a friend does!!! I definitely didn't do my job as a child of God. Many Many Many times I thought about my life and what it looked liked and how I run away from the people that had a good influence on me just to "have some fun". I should have done something about it...I wish I have spent more time with those who could uplift me....those who could have said "Marta what are you doing with your life?!"...I wish I let them in!!! And you know why? Because even though it's been years since I last partied...those memories come back to me once in a while and hunt me down. The things I did might have been forgiven by our God but those memories are a like a baggage that you bring with you for the rest of your life! And it sucks!!! So if you are in this situation right now, where you know it's time to make a choice...choose wisely!!! Whatever you do...remember it will affect your life forever!!!

So i forgot about few things...

I was just reading my last few blogs and realized that the one from February had some prayer requests and that most of them were answered. I will start with my Green Card...I have it!!! The interview was easy and I guess I was more prepared than most people are:) But that is just me...I always have to have my bases covered. So now I'm officially a permanent resident of this country. In May I was also hired at Walmart and as some of you might wonder why I would work there if I have a BA in Psychology....well, Spearfish is pretty small therefore there aren't many places that could use someone with my degree. I actually like my job...our Walmart in town is new and the people that work there are nice. And i also love love love make people happy which I get to do every time I work. So as long as I get to influence someone's life I'm satisfied:) Another prayer answered was Hudson's cough...we went to the doctor and he finally got over it. Yay God!:) One of the most important prayer requests was about friends and it was definitely answered. I have an amazing circle of friends here in Spearfish...they even threw me a Green Card party!!!! It was awesome!!! It is definitely a lot harder to make time to hang out because everyone has their responsibilites but that just means that we are more intentional with our time together. God has definitely done some amazing work in my life since we've been here. I've been up and down and He has always been there for me! So were my friends! So thank you guys!!! I love you!!! I have also made some friends at work which is an awesome ministry field because very few of them are Christians. So yea...that is it as far as prayer requests go...on a different note...today has been a very good day so far...I woke up in a good mood with lots of energy! YAY for a good day!

wow....a lot has changed!

Since i haven't written anything for a long while, this might a long one!!! I should probably start with....we no longer work for Mountain View Church....due to a split Shaun resigned from his position. It was a very nasty situation and we are still trying to get over it and move on...unfortunately it isn't as easy as I thought it would be! Every time I drive by that church I hurt! Shaun wasn't the only one that resigned...he followed the rest of the staff. Many people left and we all started a new church in town called Grace Fellowship. It has been an awesome experience so far besides the fact that it all happened so fast that I didn't have enough time to get over the split. Honestly....I don't know how to! Every Sunday I go to church and I feel alone because everyone seems so happy and I'm so not! And even though I've been told to just focus on the positive that is not how I deal with pain! Because if I don't work through the negative it will only be put away for later and one day it will all blow up! I wish people weren't so afraid to talk about the crap in their lives, because maybe then people like me wouldn't feel alone in this big world! I have felt like this the whole summer...and I used to think that even though depression runs in my family it wouldn't never catch up to me. But it did and it sucks! I don't want to get up in the morning and when I do....physically have no energy to do anything. Doing simple tasks like getting Hudson a sippy are exhausting. I don't even enjoy shopping and those who know me this is not normal. I hate hate hate feeling like this...lately I've found myself looking forward to going to work because people who I work with say what is on their mind and if something sucks they don't cover it. And when we talk about church they say why they don't go there and you know what...I totally understand! They are sick of fake...and I'm getting sick of it too! How are we supposed to process through things and become real friends if hardly anyone talks about their REAL lives. I don't believe that there is a person who has it all figured out and their life is perfect. I don't! I used to cover things up...I was always the one who no matter what was smiling because thinking postive was the right to do! Well look where it got me....I'm in this black hole and can't get out of it! I have tried so many things...eating better, exercising, doing things I enjoy, focusing on the positive, etc.....because I was told it would help...it hasn't yet! I just want someone to listen and not judge me for what I'm feeling...it's ok to through crap...it's normal to go through crap...we are humans...life sucks sometimes! And I don't want hide my true feelings anymore...this is me...take or leave it!

new chapter...

As always it's been a while between my blogs...we've moved and we love it!!! Our new home is so spacious and cozy and the area is beautiful. I love Black Hills!!! For the last 4 weeks we've been very buys painting and decorating, and I'm ready to be done. There is still a lot to do, especially in the basement but that will take a while. Shaun has been adjusting to his new job very well...he absolutely loves it. I'm finally going to youth group this Wednesday...it's going to be great, because the kids are amazing!!!

We do have a few prayer requests...
1. Hudson has been sick for the last 7 weeks and we finally took him to the doctor today. He didn't know what is going on, because all Hudson has is a cough...no other symptoms. We got antibiotics for Hudson, so please pray that they would help. We want his relief and also we don't have an insurance yet, so it could get very expensive.

2. My Green Card interview got rescheduled and I don't know what the date will be. It's been a stressful process for me and I just want it to be over.

3. JOB!!! I need a job...once you move away from college, there are all these expenses that you didn't have before...and I need a job ASAP. I don't want to take just anything...mainly because I don't want to hate going to work every day. It also needs to have health benefits because we can't afford paying $400 for insurance every month. It's been hard to think about having to leave Hudson at a daycare or with Shaun in the evening, because I actually started to like being
stay-at-home mom. Hudson has been so much happier since we've moved that he doesn't give me a reason to want to leave anymore:) So please pray for peace for us and for God's provision. We are already tight with our budget and soon we will have to start paying loans off and that scares me. I have these little panic attacks when I start freaking out about money and not being able to pay for necessities. We are blessed with a house in which we can live for free which is a big relief for us. Please, pray that God would give me peace about everything and that he would help me to be ok with going to work and not having to worry about leaving Hudson.

4.Building new friendships...I'm such a people person, and not having neighbors that I can just stop by anytime is hard. I miss our girl events like crazy. Women need to vent and the best way to do that is to talk to other girls. I've met amazing women here and it's very fun to hang out with them, so please pray that I would be patient as it takes time for friendships to grow.

5. I really miss home-Poland!!! And it drives me crazy that I can't just go there whenever I want to. Tickets are so expensive and I need my passport which I can only get in Chicago, which would make a long trip. Please pray that all of my paperwork, including passport would be done soon and that God would provide for tickets. I haven't seen my family in so long and Hudson hasn't even met his great grandparents. It makes me sad every time I think about it!

We have been extremely blessed with the people that sourround us here, with a great house, great weather (for most part) and beautiful sorroundings. God is great! Sometimes we tend to forget to turn to him, and that's when things get crazy!!! Let us remember that He is always there for us!!!

so much has happened....

I can't believe it's December already!!! This last semester went by so fast. I will start with the most important...we are moving!!! Shaun got a job as a Youth Pastor at Mountain View Baptist Church in Spearfish, SD. It's been a long process but it was worth it. We have definitely grown in our faith and patience. Spearfish is beautiful and the church we will be working with is amazing. We fell in love with the people the first time we got to visit it. Just recently we went there again to meet the church. It was an amazing weekend, and we didn't want to leave. Yesterday the church voted, and everything went well. We are so excited!!! December 19th will be our last day in Bemidji, so I have lots of packing to do:) Part of me is sad and scared. This is all I know about living in US. The whole time I've been in this country I spent at schools. Now I get to be an adult. Also, I have to leave my friends:( We have grown so close in the last few years and now we have to say goodbye...but I guess that's life. It will be hard but I also know that there are wonderful people waiting for us in Spearfish.

I can't believe I have been in this country for five years...there have been so many changes. I have changed...I grew up!!! There have been so many people that I met who influenced my life in many ways. I got to finish college...a Christian college!!! With a degree I always wanted...I married the most amazing men and we have the cutest baby boy. I can't believe I'm a wife and a mother...and now I will be pastor's wife...it's so weird to think about it, because just yesterday I was wondering what it would be like to be 25!!! We are starting a new chapter of our life and we need your prayers...Please pray for our new life in Spearfish...I need to find a part-time job...and Hudson might need to go to daycare...please pray that Shaun would get accomodated in his new job quickly and that I would also accomodate to being pastor's wife:) We would appreciate your prayers...

Something else new...I finally got my Green Card interview scheduled for January...yay:) So you can pray about that too...that it would go well!!!

we're back...

This last month has been full of craziness and excitement!!! First me siblings came and we had tons of fun and few arguments here and there, but who doesn't have those;) I miss them already!!! We definitely don't get to see each other often enough. During their time here we had two b-day parties for Hudson. One of them was a double celebration with Sam who is only one day younger that Hudson. They had lots of fun and got a looooottttttttttt super cool gifts. Thanks everyone!!! I will send Thank You cards once we settle...hehe;)
Then my family left:(...
And last Saturday we traveled to SD for Shaun's interview at a church in Spearfish. At first we went to Sioux Falls where we met the pastor of the church and his wife and sons. We got to stay with a very nice family! We also got to go to LifeLight ( a huge music festival) at which we hang out with our dear friends from ND and OK :) On Sunday we headed to Rapid City, where we stayed with Bob and Meagan (our other friends). Monday and Tuesday we mostly spent in Spearfish which by the way is beautiful. It's when you get away from lots of people and big cities when you get to truly see the beauty of God's Creation!!! I mean I love my "city"!!! I need stores to shop at...hehe:) But Rapid City is close enough:) And Spearfish is just so peaceful. We think the interview went well, but we don't know what God has in store so now we just have to wait. The pastor and his family, the search commitee and the staff, were so welcoming and nice, that it felt like home. Shaun flatened his mohawk for the interview because we all know that some people might not like it or get offended by it so just in case he didn't spike it that day, and it's funny because everyone was dissapointed that he didn't have it up:) I mean usually churches want you to put a very nice shirt on, act overly mature or simply they tell you you're not old enough to be a youth pastor, but this one accepted Shaun for who he is. So this is a little prayer request...pray that God would give the church and us the right direction...no matter what it is, He will make sure it's the best for everyone!
On the other note, if you have kids, just to warn you, traveling for long hours is horrible! Hudson is at that age when he doesn't want to just sit in his seat for hours and hours. He would like climb, crawl, or run around. We had to take a lot of breaks so he could stretch out, we usually just stopped at a mall that had a play area for kids. He loved it! Also get a dvd player for a car, that was very helpful...Hudson loves his Veggie Tales, and I do too:) I think me and Shaun had this one dvd memorized by now;) Well that's about it for now..if you want to know more you know where to find me...at home or Target...hehe;)....jk....

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately...

I'm bitter...and I know I shouldn't be but today this is just how I feel...I put a lot of effort into my friendships because I truly believe that if you want to have friends you can't just expect to receive, you have to give too! So I come up with these ideas of how to bring the girls together so we can get away from daily worries and just hang out without kids, without husbands, just us silly girls!:) I make sure that we all know what's going on so nobody feels forgotten because I know how it feels! Isn't it normal to expect others to treat you the way you treat them?! Especially your closest friends! Well, I think it is! And yet I get a "slap in the face"! It hurts and I'm not sure how to handle it. I come up with an idea and someone else takes it and doesn't even care that I can't participate or simply assumes that I couldn't. I'm not sure I have felt that hurt in a long time! I usually try to be strong and get through stuff but this is different because it's not the first time it has happened. So this is it!